You can’t tap ‘post’ on your keyboard until you have checked and rechecked what you have written at least 18 times. You wait to make the call for the promising-sounding speaking engagement (or the partnership opportunity or the sale) until after you have updated your website and all your social profiles… and inexplicably maybe your business cards and headshots as well.
You laughingly call yourself a “perfectionist in recovery” but in your gut, you know you are a lot more “perfectionist” than “in recovery.”
Stepping into your day peering at everything through the lens of Perfection is exhausting in a way that swirls and feels silent and loud all at once. Not knowing how to turn it off is bewildering and more than a little infuriating. You’ve read the articles on HBR and Psychology Today and you know Brené Brown is not having this perfectionism nonsense (and you agree with her!) and yet you CAN’T. MAKE. IT. STOP.
Because you have tried to make it stop.
You’ve tried to ignore the beguiling promise of flawlessness. You know it’s impossible. You know it’s a waste of time. You know it’s slowing you down and costing you money and fun and breathing room… but as much as it’s suffocating it’s also kind of comforting.
It’s familiar. It feels safe.
Because if you can just do it (this, that, ANYTHING) perfectly then maybe, just maybe, you could relax.
The thing is though, perfectionism isn’t actually what is dragging you down.
Sure, all your life you have called yourself a perfectionist, and all your life all kinds of loving and well-intentioned people have called you a perfectionist… but I’m willing to bet that rather than call this thing “perfectionism” we could call the weight that is clinging to your ankles and trying to sink you a few other things as well:
A reliable distraction;
Your brain trying to organize overwhelm;
Numbing out (focusing on unimportant things just for the sake of focusing on something).
And what it really comes down to:
Fear.
Fear of being judged. Fear of being called out. Fear of being unworthy.
All that checking and rechecking and second-guessing? A highly effective distraction.
The procrastination? A fantastic way to avoid getting important stuff done and risking being called out.
Getting all those tasks done that don’t move the needle at all? A convenient way to temporarily drown out the nitpicking chatter in your mind.
Fear is normal. Fear is necessary and extremely useful when it comes to keeping you from being eaten by tigers jumping out from behind trees…
But when it comes to cluttering up your professional and personal life with noise and arbitrarily stomping on all of your progress and dreams, Fear and its best friend Perfectionism is a HUGE waste of time!
Sound familiar? If you would like to talk more about how to cut out the noise and focus on growing your business without sacrificing your personal and family life, I would love to talk with you!
Here is a link to my calendar – looking forward to chatting.