“I get up in the morning, I take my kids to daycare and I work. It’s not like I’m making a huge amount of money either, I’m not a millionaire. Somehow I feel like if I was making buckets of money that would make it better, although maybe it wouldn’t. I feel guilty and I am selfish. My mom stayed at home with us when I was a kid…”

This was the conversation I had with a client not too long ago. 

Guilt. Shame. Worry. 

Each day a rollercoaster of some wins punctured with an avalanche of doubt:

Who am I to focus on what I want when my kids are little? 

I wanted to have kids for so long, and now I’m not even with them during the day…

My parents think this is selfish…

The other parents think I am selfish…

Who am I kidding?

What am I thinking?  

Guilt. Guilt. GUILT. 

Here you are trying to take steps to make things better for your family and this merciless guilt swirls around your fingers, crossing your eyes, making it impossible for you to get through your list of to-dos and must-dos.

It’s unfair and it’s suffocating. 

It is completely debilitating and cuts away at your productivity.

But what if you could completely be free of this guilt altogether? 

What if I told you that there is a way to outstep guilt so it never catches you again? 

Because here is the truth: 

What you are feeling is not guilt. It feels like guilt. It weighs on you like guilt. The words you repeat over and over to yourself sound like guilt. 

But none of this is actually guilt. What you are actually feeling is something far more insidious and common and show-stopping: 

What you are really feeling… is fear.

It’s a certain brand of fear that helps to make sure you stay nice and small. And staying small keeps you from getting in there and blowing your goals right out of the water. 

You’re not a bad parent. The daycare is great, your kids are well taken care of and you love that your kids are seeing you build something that has big and little pieces of YOU in it. 

Fear masquerading as guilt is dangerous because it can feel like integrity. But it’s not integrity. Putting handcuffs on your future is not noble, it’s simply potential ignored.  

This is self sabotage. 


By putting your energy into worrying about what a bad parent you are, you are avoiding focusing that energy into being curious about your business and maybe failing on a few things on the way to something much, much better. 

Feeling guilt can save you from feeling failure. 

Feeling guilt can save you from feeling exposed. 

Feeling guilt can save you from asking good questions, putting yourself out there and throwing yourself into this worthy challenge in front of you.


It doesn’t have to be like this and you do not have to let fear squash your business! 

Here is a link to book some time with me so I can help you uncover what you are afraid of and what essential pieces this fear is holding you back from tackling right now. 

Bring a notebook. You’re going to feel a lot better after our chat!

As always, thank you for erring on the side of empathy, kindness and curiosity.

Join the Conversation


  1. Thank you for this! Yes! I felt this today. Then I reminded myself that *I* am important and deserve to do the things I love. And, to boot, the kids are having way more fun at summer camp than fighting at home (with each other) while I try and get them out the door to another activity.

    1. Yes, exactly! It’s important to repeat to myself: Guilt is a convenient scapegoat. Martyrdom is good for no one. Carry on and get shit done 😉

      My kids are having a blast at camp too – they are going to be fine!

  2. I feel this so strongly. My kids are well taken care of and they see that work is important, and not just doing anything, but going to school to do what you love. I believe it sets up future success and realistic views on our tax paying responsibilities, feminism, advanced education (so you are afforded to go to a job you love), and long term stability. I feel often that I’m missing out on the young and good years – which is sad. I still have a hard time reconciling that.
    Thanks for writing this <3

    1. Thank you for your comment, Harmony! There is so much guilt, ugh! We learn in so many ways, again and again we hear “it takes a village!” and it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Keep loving your kids in all the ways you do – through your hugs and your career and your attention and groceries and all the rest of it.

      Sending you a huge hug!

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